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sardarji jokes

2009-12-22T05:02:00.000-08:00

An interview with sardar

Interviewer: what s ur qualification?

Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewer : what do u mean by Ph.d?

Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

Sardarji theory

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light atnight when light is needed &

Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

Indians are rocking

Foreigner: Do you know swimming?

Indian: No.

Foreigner:Dog is better than you ,It swims

Indian: Do u know swimming?

Foreigner: yes

Indian : Then what is the difference between you and dog?

Indian rockz always.......

Punch Dialogue in tamil

2009-12-21T05:22:00.000-08:00

Punch

Feel pannu but future ah spoil pannatha
Think pannu but time ah waste pannatha
Sight adi but love pannatha

Thathuvam

Vetriyal maghilchi mattume
kidaikum but tholviyal nalla anubavam kidaikkum

Life is not a MP3 player to listen to your favourite songs
It is radio to adjust yourself to enjoy what ever comes in it

Friendship

Love is a small coin
Life is a big coin
Wife is a lucky coin
Lover is a sweet coin
But friendship is a gold coin

Peak of Poverty

What is peak of poverty?When a girl is ready to kiss a boy for 2 rupees.But if the boy has just 1.75 rupees that is the peak of poverty

அப்படி என்னதான் வேலை பார்ப்பீங்க ?"

2009-11-11T06:17:00.000-08:00

அப்படி என்னதான் வேலை பார்ப்பீங்க ?"

நியாயமான ஒரு கேள்வி

"ஏம்பா இந்த கம்ப்யூட்டர் படிச்சவங்க எல்லாம் நிறைய சம்பளம்
வாங்கிட்டு, பந்தா பண்ணிட்டு ஒரு தினுசாவே அலையுறீங்களே? அப்படி என்னதான் வேலை பார்ப்பீங்க ?" –

நியாயமான ஒரு கேள்வியை கேட்டார் எனது அப்பா.

நானும் விவரிக்க ஆரம்பிதேன்.

"வெள்ளைகாரனுக்கு எல்லா வேலையும் சீக்கிரமா முடியனும்.
அதே மாதிரி எல்லா வேலையும் அவனோட வீட்டுல
இருந்தே செய்யணும்.
இதுக்காக எவ்வளவு பணம் வேணுமானாலும் செலவு செய்ய
தயாரா இருக்கான்."

"அது சரி பல்லு இருக்குறவன் பக்கோடா சாப்பிடுறான்".

"இந்த மாதிரி அமெரிக்கால்-ல, இங்கிலாந்து-ல இருக்குற Bank,
இல்ல எதாவது கம்பெனி, "நான் செலவு செய்ய தயாரா இருக்கேன்.
எனக்கு இத செய்து கொடுங்க கேப்பாங்க.
இவங்கள நாங்க "Client"னு சொல்லுவோம்.

"சரி"

இந்த மாதிரி Client-அ மோப்பம் பிடிக்குறதுக்காகவே எங்க
பங்காளிக கொஞ்ச பேர அந்த அந்த ஊருல உக்கார வச்சி இருப்போம். இவங்க பேரு "Sales Consultants, Pre-Sales Consultants....".

இவங்க போய் Client கிட்ட பேச்சுவார்த்தை நடத்துவாங்க.

காசு கொடுகுறவன் சும்மாவா கொடுப்பான்?

ஆயிரத்தெட்டு கேள்வி கேப்பான். உங்களால இத பண்ண முடியுமா?

அத பண்ண முடியுமான்னு அவங்க கேக்குற எல்லாம் கேள்விக்கும், "முடியும்"னு பதில் சொல்றது இவங்க வேலை.

"இவங்க எல்லாம் என்னப்பா படிச்சுருபாங்க"?

"MBA, MSனு பெரிய பெரிய படிபெல்லாம் படிச்சி இருப்பாங்க."

"முடியும்னு ஒரே வார்த்தைய திரும்ப திரும்ப சொல்றதுக்கு
எதுக்கு MBA படிக்கணும்?" –

அப்பாவின் கேள்வியில் நியாயம் இருந்தது.

"சரி இவங்க போய் பேசின உடனே client project கொடுத்துடுவானா?"

"அது எப்படி? இந்த மாதிரி பங்காளிக எல்லா கம்பெனிளையும்
இருப்பாங்க. 500 நாள்ல முடிக்க வேண்டிய வேலைய 60 நாள்ள
முடிச்சு தரோம், 50 நாள்ல முடிச்சு தரோம்னு பேரம் பேசுவாங்க.
இதுல யாரு குறைஞ்ச நாள சொல்றாங்களோ அவங்களுக்கு
ப்ராஜெக்ட் கிடைக்கும்"

"500 நாள்ல முடிக்க வேண்டிய வேலைய 50
நாள்ல எப்படி முடிக்க முடியும்? ராத்திரி பகலா வேலை பார்த்தாலும்
முடிக்க முடியாதே?"

"இங்க தான் நம்ம புத்திசாலித்தனத்த நீங்க
புரிஞ்சிக்கணும். 50 நாள்னு சொன்ன உடனே client சரின்னு சொல்லிடுவான்.

ஆனா அந்த 50 நாள்ல அவனுக்கு என்ன வேணும்னு அவனுக்கும்
தெரியாது, என்ன செய்யனும்னு நமக்கும் தெரியாது.
இருந்தாலும் 50 நாள் முடிஞ்ச பிறகு ப்ரோஜெக்ட்னு ஒன்ன நாங்க deliver பண்ணுவோம்.
அத பாத்துட்டு "ஐய்யோ நாங்க கேட்டது இதுல்ல,
எங்களுக்கு இது வேணும், அது வேணும்னு" புலம்ப ஆரம்பிப்பான்.

"அப்புறம்?" - அப்பா ஆர்வமானார்.

"இப்போ தான் நாங்க நம்பியார் மாதிரி கைய பிசஞ்சிகிட்டே
"இதுக்கு நாங்க CR raise பண்ணுவோம்"னு சொல்லுவோம்.

"CR-னா?"

"Change Request. இது வரைக்கும் நீ கொடுத்த பணத்துக்கு நாங்க
வேலை பார்த்துட்டோம்.
இனிமேல் எதாவது பண்ணனும்னா எக்ஸ்ட்ரா பணம் கொடுக்கணும்"னு
சொல்லுவோம்.
இப்படியே 50 நாள் வேலைய 500 நாள் ஆக்கிடுவோம்."

அப்பாவின் முகத்தில் லேசான பயம் தெரிந்தது.

"இதுக்கு அவன் ஒத்துபானா?"

"ஒத்துகிட்டு தான் ஆகணும்.

முடி வெட்ட போய்ட்டு, பாதி வெட்டிட்டு வர முடியுமா?"

"சரி ப்ராஜெக்ட் உங்க கைல வந்த உடனே என்ன பண்ணுவீங்க?"

"முதல்ல ஒரு டீம் உருவாக்குவோம்.
இதுல ப்ராஜக்ட் மேனேஜர்னு ஒருத்தர் இருப்பாரு.
இவரது தான் பெரிய தலை.
ப்ராஜெக்ட் சக்சஸ் ஆனாலும், ஃபெயிலியர் ஆனாலும் இவரு தான் பொறுப்பு."

"அப்போ இவருக்கு நீங்க எல்லாரும் பண்ற வேலை எல்லாம்
தெரியும்னு சொல்லு."

"அதான் கிடையாது.

இவருக்கு நாங்க பண்ற எதுவும்யே தெரியாது."

"அப்போ இவருக்கு என்னதான் வேலை?" –

அப்பா குழம்பினார்.

"நாங்க என்ன தப்பு பண்ணினாலும் இவர பார்த்து கைய நீட்டுவோம். எப்போ எவன் குழி பறிப்பானு டென்ஷன் ஆகி டயர்ட் ஆகி டென்ஷன்
ஆகுறது தான் இவரு வேலை."

"பாவம்பா"

"ஆனா இவரு ரொம்ப நல்லவரு.
எங்களுக்கு எந்த பிரச்னை வந்தாலும் இவரு கிட்ட போய் சொல்லலாம்."

"எல்லா பிரச்னையும் தீர்த்து வச்சிடுவார?"

"ஒரு பிரச்சனைய கூட தீர்க்க மாட்டாரு.
நாங்க என்ன சொன்னாலும் தலையாட்டிகிட்டே உன்னோட பிரச்னை
எனக்கு புரியுதுனு சொல்றது மட்டும் தான் இவரோட வேலை."

"நான் உன்னோட அம்மா கிட்ட பண்றத மாதிரி?!"

"இவருக்கு கீழ டெக் லீட், மோடுல் லீட், டெவலப்பர், டெஸ்டர்னு
நிறைய அடி பொடிங்க இருப்பாங்க."

"இத்தனை பேரு இருந்து, எல்லாரும் ஒழுங்கா வேலை செஞ்சா
வேலை ஈஸியா முடிஞ்சிடுமே?"

"வேலை செஞ்சா தானே?
நான் கடைசியா சொன்னேன் பாருங்க...
டெவலப்பர், டெஸ்டர்னு, அவங்க மட்டும் தான் எல்லா வேலையும் செய்வாங்க. அதுலையும் இந்த டெவலப்பர்,வேலைக்கு சேரும் போதே "இந்த குடும்பத்தோட மானம், மரியாதை உன்கிட்ட தான் இருக்குனு"
சொல்லி, நெத்தில திருநீறு பூசி அனுப்பி வச்ச என்னைய மாதிரி
தமிழ் பசங்க தான் அதிகம் இருப்பாங்க."

"அந்த டெஸ்டர்னு எதோ சொன்னியே?
அவங்களுக்கு என்னப்பா வேலை?"

"இந்த டெவலப்பர் பண்ற வேலைல குறை கண்டு பிடிக்கறது
இவனோட வேலை.

புடிக்காத மருமக கை பட்டா குத்தம்,
கால் பட்டா குத்தம் இங்குறது மாதிரி."

"ஒருத்தன் பண்ற வேலைல குறை கண்டு பிடிகுறதுக்கு சம்பளமா?
புதுசா தான் இருக்கு. சரி இவங்களாவது வேலை செய்யுராங்களா.
சொன்ன தேதிக்கு வேலைய முடிச்சு கொடுத்துடுவீங்கள்ள?"

"அது எப்படி..? சொன்ன தேதிக்கு ப்ராஜக்டை முடிச்சி கொடுத்தா,
அந்தக் குற்ற உணர்ச்சி எங்க வாழ்கை முழுவதும் உறுத்திக்கிட்டு
இருக்கும். நிறைய பேரு அந்த அவமானத்துக்கு பதிலா தற்கொலை
செய்துக்கலாம்னு சொல்லுவாங்க"

"கிளையன்ட் சும்மாவா விடுவான்?

ஏன் லேட்னு கேள்வி கேக்க மாட்டான்?"

"கேக்கத்தான் செய்வான். இது வரைக்கும் டிமுக்குள்ளையே
காலை வாரி விட்டுக்கிட்டு இருந்த நாங்க எல்லாரும் சேர்ந்து அவன் காலை வார ஆரம்பிப்போம்."

"எப்படி?"

"நீ கொடுத்த கம்ப்யூட்டர்-ல ஒரே தூசியா இருந்துச்சு.
அன்னைக்கு டீம் மீட்டிங்ல வச்சி நீ இருமின,
உன்னோட ஹேர் ஸ்டைல் எனக்கு புடிகலை."
இப்படி எதாவது சொல்லி அவன குழப்புவோம்.
அவனும் சரி சனியன எடுத்து தோள்ல போட்டாச்சு,
இன்னும் கொஞ்ச நாள் தூங்கிட்டு போகட்டும்னு விட்டுருவான்".

"சரி முன்ன பின்ன ஆனாலும் முடிச்சி கொடுத்துட்டு கைய
கழுவிட்டு வந்துடுவீங்க அப்படித்தான?"

"அப்படி பண்ணினா, நம்ம நாட்டுல பாதி பேரு வேலை இல்லாம
தான் இருக்கணும்."

"அப்புறம்?"

"ப்ராஜக்டை முடிய போற சமயத்துல நாங்க எதோ பயங்கரமான
ஒன்ன பண்ணி இருக்குறமாதிரியும், அவனால அத புரிஞ்சிக்க
கூட முடியாதுங்கற மாதிரியும் நடிக்க ஆரம்பிப்போம்."

"அப்புறம்?"

"அவனே பயந்து போய்,
"எங்கள தனியா விட்டுடாதீங்க. உங்க டீம்-ல ஒரு ஒன்னு, ரெண்டு
பேர உங்க ப்ரொஜெக்ட பார்த்துக்க சொல்லுங்கன்னு"

புது பொண்ணு மாதிரி புலம்ப ஆரம்பிச்சிடுவாங்க."
இதுக்கு பேரு "Maintenance and Support".
இந்த வேலை வருஷ கணக்கா போகும்.
"ப்ராஜக்ட் அப்படிங்கறது ஒரு பொண்ண கல்யாணம் பண்ணி வீட்டுக்கு
கூட்டிட்டு வர்றது மாதிரி.

தாலி கட்டினா மட்டும் போதாது, வருஷ கணக்கா நிறைய செலவு செஞ்சு பராமரிக்க வேண்டிய விசயம்னு" இப்போ தான் கிளைன்டுக்கு
புரிய ஆரம்பிக்கும்.

"எனக்கும் எல்லாம் புரிஞ்சிடுப்பா."

Kanden Kadhalai

2009-11-03T06:28:00.000-08:00

Cast : Bharath, Tamannah, Sapan Saran & Santhanam

Producer : V.M. Lalitha

Direction : Kannan

Music : Vidyasagar

MP3 Bitrate: 320/160 kbps VBR

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Kanden Kadhalai

To download Right Click -> Save Target As/Save Link As

Katru Pudhidhai.mp3	6.2 MB
Naan Mozhi.mp3	6.5 MB
Odo Odo.mp3	5.1 MB
Oru Naal.mp3	5.4 MB
Suthuthu.mp3	4.9 MB
Ven Panju.mp3	5.7 MB

Short Jokes

2009-11-03T06:02:00.000-08:00

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: why three?

Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?

Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.

What do u call a woman in heaven?

An Angel.

A crowd of woman in heaven?

A host of Angels.

And all woman in heaven?

PEACE ON EARTH!

Girl:Touch your Heart, You will feel the rhythm of your heartbeat.

Boy:Touch your Head,You will feel the rhythm of empty pot.Tin..Tin.

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

Worlds shortest jokes:

1) 2 Women r sitting quiet.

2) 2 Sardars r playing chess.

3) GirlFriend pays the bill.

The Two Most dangerous Weapons In The World Other Than Nuclear Bombs

1. A Girl’s Smile &

2. A Girl’s Tears.

Q: How do u keep ur husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

What is a girl friend?

Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

Q: What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?

A: The walk back to the pavilion

Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best?

A: In advertisements.

Digital Ramayana

2009-11-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

PART-I

LAN, LAN ago, in the land of I/O-dhya, there ruled a king named

DOS-rat. Three queens had he - CONSOLE-ya, CHECKSUM-itra and CIE/CAE

(Kaikeyi). However, he had no line drivers - i.e. no one to perpetuate

his line. In sheer desperation, he performed a great sacrifice after

which his queens gave birth to four sons - RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and

SED-rughana.

RAM was a microchip off the old block - he had an excellent

memory, he logged in quickly and semi-conducted himself in a manner fit

for a king. His brothers, however, were only perpheralI ICs; everytime

RAM addressed them, they said, "I-C". Once when RAM was only sixteen

years old, the great sage Vish-WAN-mitra sought his help to fight some

DAEMONs who persistently RAIDed his hermitage. After a brief

collision, RAM routed them so easily that he came to be called DAEMON

ROUTER.

RAM then proceeded to Media, where he married Pricess C+ta.

C+ta's sisters, who were not her blood sisters and hence called

TRAN-sisters, married RAM's ICs. This ceremony came to be known as TTL.

On the way back to I/O-dhya, the entourage met Parasu-ROM (or

P-ROM as he was better known), the scourge of the kshatriyas. Taking up

the P-ROM challenge, RAM aimed an arrow at him; he threatened to take

away P-ROM's powers of locomotion, thereby converting him to Static RAM.

P-ROM humbly withdrew and the procession reached I/O-dhya.

Twelve years passed and DOS-rat decided to crown

RAM as his successor. However, CIE/CAE, at the

instigation of her BIOSed maid MANtharai(a real

plotter), insisted that her son Bug-rat be crowned king and that RAM

be banished to the FOR(;;)est for fourteen years. At this cruel and

unexpected demAND, a surge passed thru DOS-rat and he CRASHED,

power-less.

RAM agreed to go to FOR(;;)est and C+ta insisted to go with him.

She said that at the time of her marriage, her father had advised her

to follow the footsteps of her husband like a shadow, hence, she came to be

called SHADOW-RAM.

LSI-man was also resolved on accompanying his

brother as a SLAVE LSI. Unable to bear separation,

DOS-rat died, setting the precedent that no system could function

in the absence of RAM. The forest was the dwelling of SPARC-nakha, the

sister of RAW-van, King of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she

proposed that he marry her. RAM routed her to LSI-man, who also politely

declined. Perceiving C+ta to be the source code of her distress, she

hastened to kill her.

At this stage LSI-man executed the Memory resident

code and converted SPARC-naak to SPARC-no-naak. He

TRUNCATED her nose.

Weeping, SPARC-no-naak fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved

by sisters plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha.

Ignoring MAR-icha's compilation warnings not to RISC SPARC-ing

a war with RAM, he insisted on going ahead. Accordingly, MAR-icha

transformed himself into the form of golden sTAG and drew RAM deep into

the forest.

Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who, with his last

breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this

Virtual RAM cry, C+ta urged LSI-man to his brothers aid. Catching the

opportunity, RAW-van delinked C+ta from her library and changed her root

directory to LAN-ka by BROADCASTING her over sky.

PART-II

RAM and LSI-man started FINDing for the missing

i-node, c+ta all over the forest. They made

friendship with the forest admin SU-greev and his

powerful co-processor ha-NEUMAN.

ha-NEUMAN was a legendary figure. He had a swollen

cheek ARCHITECTURE. He was a child

prodigy and came up with newer methedologies and

techniques which inspired many others.In particular his RAM mantra

technique became extremely popular for generations.

SU-greev agreed to help RAM but first wanted help

from RAM to delete his own root node VAALI.(

valli?) SU-greev's intention was obvious. He wanted to be the

only admin around & wanted to grab all the consulting jobs in the

forest.

RAM fought with VALLI and surprised him using some un-documented

features.VALLI cried foul and started complaining to the justice

department saying that it was not a fair fight.RAM then convinced everyone

using his trademark MICRO SOFT WORDs coupled with a few FREE vedic

goodies.Though some of the onlookers such as ORACLE (seer)and pancha bhutas

such as SUN, disagreed with RAM's micro soft touch,they all shut their

mouths fearing RAM's reach among the user community.

SU-greev was happy with the outcome and ordered his programmers to

use powerful 'search' techniques to find the missing c+ta. His programmers

searched all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Some of them shouted

'YAA-HOO' but ended up with 'not found' messages. Several other search

techniques proved useless.

ha-NEUMAN using a radically different paradigm devised a RISKy

technology and used it to cross the seas at astonishing clock speeds.

On the way he bumped with a few satellite signals but was able to avoid

deflections due to his own high strength. As soon as ha-NEUMAN reached

LAN-ka, he had to collide with its firewall called LAN-ki. The

firewall made disperate attempts to stop ha-NEUMAN entering into its

internal web, but the great ha-NEUMAN detected a loop hole in

LAN-ki's firewall. Using micro code, he broke the security and entered

LAN-ka.

After doing some local search, ha-NEUMAN found C+ta weeping under

the weight of a TREE structure. ha-NEUMAN used a unique key-id (ring)

to identify himself to C+ta. After decrypting the key, C+ta believed

in him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK message to RAM through RING

topology.

Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around C+ta tied ha-NEUMAN and

tried to terminate him using pyro-techniques. But ha-NEUMAN managed

to spread chaos among the raakshasas by SPAMMING the fire using some

side effects.

Several raakshasa programmers were later called to restore the

operational stability in LAN-ka. ha-NEUMAN happily escaped LAN-ka again

and conveyed all the STATUS messages to RAM and SU-greev.

RAM felt happy with ha-NEUMAN's methedology of

execution and embarked on a project code named

EXPLORER to delete the netESCAPING RAW-wan. He even

created a bridge and GATEWAY to acess LAN-ka network

In the mean time, signs were apparent in LAN-ka about the

imminent danger from RAM's project EXPLORER, but RAW-wan refused to

budge.

Sensing disaster, his own sub-program called

vibhee-SHUN, executed a 'GO TO' statement and

branched out to RAM's camp. RAW-wan still insisted on taking the

all powerful RAM head-on. He decided to use the boons given to him by SUN,

sHIVa etc.and prepared for the battle on a remote island on LAN-ka

called JAVA.

He thought that his presence in JAVA will give him victory over

RAM.

RAM and his entourage made small and buggy progress in the

begining but the world community on the whole started watching them with

awe. In the battle on JAVA island, it appeared initially that RAM had no

chance.

In fact one of the RAW-wan's SUN indrajIT(son)

almost killed RAM & LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra called

JAVA-BEAN. It appeared for a while that the world has seen the end of

RAM's MICRO SOFT touch. But ha-NEUMAN resorted to some

ACTIVE-Xgradients

from HILL GATES and concocted a potion using some herbs.

His powerful HERBAL-COMPUTER aided him in making this potion which

restarted RAM and LSI-man.

Appearing, reluctant RAM used the source code

secrets of RAW-wan given by vibhee-SHUN and once

and for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on the

earth. Before that he even SCHEDULED RAW-wan to come

next day when all his resources were locked up bu RAM's virus

weapons He proved again that even the so

called

invincible RAW-wan cannot be netESCAPED from his power.

After the battle, RAM spreaded his MICRO SOFT WORKS and other user

friendly programs to all users across the world and every one

lived

happily thereafter.

END OF DIGITAL RAMAYANA

What an Idea?

2009-10-29T07:16:00.000-07:00

What an Idea

Vijakanth's dialogue

2009-10-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate

2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when usneeze u ll say HUTCH

3 ) U can bcome an engineer if u study inengineering college. U cannot bcom a president if u studies in Presidency College

4 ) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... ucannot expect a FULL from FULL stop

5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but asoftware engineer cannot bcom a software

6 ) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world in world cup

7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard.

Women are clever

2009-10-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,

“Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”

The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock.”

The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.”

The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”
So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

Time Joke

2009-10-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.

Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"

The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does.

He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.

With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.

Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."

The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.

Before he leaves, he says to the patient,

"That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night,

when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."

Yogi

2009-10-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

Actors : Ameer, Madhumitha

Director : Subramaniam Siva

Music Director : Yuvan Shankar Raja

Producer : Team Work Production House

Download Mp3 - Yogi

Right Click -> Save Link As /Target As

Yogi Theme Music
Singer : Yuvan Shankar Raja

Yaarodu Yaaro
Singer : Yuvan Shankar Raja, Ustad Sultan Khan

Seermevum Koovathiley
Singer : Ameer, Naveen, Snehan, Jijuba

Yogi Yogi Thaan
Singer : Blazee, Neha Bhasin

Yogi Theme In Saarangi
Singer : Ustad Sultan Khan

Yogi Yogi Thaan 2
Singer : Blazee, Neha Bhasin

Unnai Pol Oruvan

2009-10-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

Actors : Kamal Haasan, Mohanlal

Director : Chakri

Music Director : Shruthi Haasan

Producer : Raj Kamal International

Download Mp3 - Unnai Pol Oruvan

Right Click -> Save Link/Target As

Unnai Pol Oruvan
Singer : Shruthi Haasan & Co

Allah Jane
Singer : Kamal Haasan

Vaanam Ellai... Illai
Singer : Kamal Haasan & Bombay Jayashree

Nilai Varumaa
Singer : Surithi Haasan & Blaaze

Allah Jane (remix)
Singer : Surithi Haasan

Jaggubhai

2009-10-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

Actors : Sarath Kumar, Shriya Saran

Director : S.P. Jananathan

Music Director : Rafee

Producer : Radaan Mediaworks

Download Mp3 - Jaggubhai

(Right Click -> Save Link As/ Save Target As)

Vaa Dhinam Dhinan
Singer : Sunitha Sarathy

Thuru Thuru
Singer : Maheshwari, Rani

Yezhu Vannathil
Singer : Hariharan, Maheshwari, Rani

Apple Laptop
Singer : Shankar Mahadevan, Chinmayi

Anbulla Maan Vizhiye
Singer : Rafee, Maheshwari

Acham, Madam, Naanam
Singer : Suchitra

Thuru Thuru (Slow)
Singer : Sunitha Sarathy

Aariyaan

2009-10-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

Cast: Santosh Bhavan, Rahini Trivedi, Mayilsami, Rajalakshmy, Nanda, Saravanan

Direction: P.Karthikeyan

Production: Prabadish Samuvel

Music: Vikram Varman

Lyricis: Yuga Barathi

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Aariyaan

Right Click -> Save Target As



Kaagidham Kaatril Parapathu Pol	8.6 MB
Kadavul Parpadhillai	8.4 MB
Mazhaiya Nee Enna Nanaikurae	8.8 MB
Nee Irrukkum Naal Varaikum	8.2 MB
Vizhiyai Vizhiyai	6.6 MB

Vizhigazhil Vizhunthaval

2009-10-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

Cast: Ajaz, Shilpa & Anaka

Direction: Aainool & Aiman Aathiya

Music: Pollack

Lyricis: R.K.Raguraman

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Vizhigazhil Vizhunthaval

Right Click -> Save Target As



Enai Theendi Paarada	3.9 MB
Oru Naal Mazhai Naal	4.9 MB
Parthal Naan Charlie Chaplin	8.0 MB
Penne Nee	6.8 MB
Sirakndri Paravai	8.3 MB
Thenkoodu	6.8 MB
Vizhigazhil Vizhunthaval	4.8 MB

Renigunta

2009-10-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

Cast: Johnny, Sanusha, Nishanth & Sandeep

Direction: Panneerselvam

Production: Mahendra Kumar Jain

Music: Ganesh Ragavedran

Lyricis: Na.Muthukumar, Yugabarathi & Prisoodan

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Renigunta

Right Click -> Save Target as


Gandharvainin Kottai	10.6 MB
Kandaen Kanmaniyae	10.0 MB
Mazhi Peyyum	10.5 MB
Thallakulam	9.1 MB
Vaazkai Yaridam	10.0 MB
Vizhigalilae	8.3 MB

Veerasekaran

2009-10-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

Cast: Veear Samar & Amala

Direction: Navi. Suthisu Kumar

Production: G. Santherasegaran

Music: Shajan Madhav

Lyricis: Priyan, Na.Muthukumar & Sameson

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Veerasekaran

Right Click -> Save Target as

En Kannai Katti	8.8 MB
Kottiveche Theeya	9.4 MB
Kuru Kuru Paarvai	8.3 MB
Vizhiye Nijam Thana	7.5 MB
Yal Thozha	8.5 MB

Kan Imaikkum Nerathil

2009-10-22T08:01:00.000-07:00

Cast: Sachi Suriya, Krishnameera
Direction: Sundaresan

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Kan Imaikkum Nerathil

Right click -> Save Target as



Aathu Thanni	6.0 MB
Adi Masam	6.3 MB
Solakattu	5.0 MB
Suduthu Suduthu	5.6 MB
Thekke Pogum	6.2 MB
Unnullil	5.9 MB

Yen Ippadi Mayakkina

2009-10-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

Cast: Richard, Gayathri, Vainavi, Santhanam, Suman Shetty

Direction: Krishna

Production: Kovai Thambi

Music: Lakshman Ramalingam

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Yen Ippadi Mayakkina

Right click -> Save target as



Deedle Deedle	1.8 MB
Doobi daba	7.5 MB
Dravida Parise	5.0 MB
Gana Kuppam	1.8 MB
Kanakkalin	7.7 MB
Nee Yennai Ninaithai	8.1 MB
To Slam The Show	2.2 MB
Yennavo Saithai	7.5 MB

Ooh..Laa..Laa

2009-10-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

Music: Vijay Narain, Aswath & Guruprasad

Lyricis: Subu, Swaminathan, Vijay Narain, Aswath & Karthik Iyer

Released Year: 2009

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Ooh..Laa..Laa



Comp @6	7.4 MB
Edhuvam Seivom	9.6 MB
Lakshiya Paadhai	10.3 MB
Ondrai Seruvam	9.0 MB
Sangarapondy	5.9 MB
Vande Mataram	9.7 MB

Kannukulle

2009-10-22T07:37:00.000-07:00

Cast: Midhun & Abharna

Direction: Lena Muvendar

Production: SPS Selvaraaja

Music: Illayaraaja

Lyricis: Na.Muthukumar, M. Mathan, Palani Barathi, Kabilan, Muthulingam & Illayaraaja

Released Year: 2009

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs:Kannukulle

Right click --> Save target as



Enge Nee Sendraalum	9.5 MB
Naan Pirandha Nerama	4.0 MB
Paattukketka	9.3 MB
Pachaimenia	9.7 MB
Pudhu Pournami Nilavugal	8.7 MB
Vaanambaadigal	10.2 MB

Vettaikaran

2009-10-22T07:27:00.000-07:00

Cast : Vijai, Anushka, Salim Ghose, Sri Har &, Sri Nath
Direction : Babu Sivan
Production: AVM Balasubramanian
Music : Vijay Antony
Lyricis : Kabilan, Vivga & Annamalai

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Vettaikaran



Chinna Thamarai	8.4 MB
Chinna Thamari	8.4 MB
Karigalan	8.1 MB
Nan Adicha	8.6 MB
Puli Urumudhu	7.9 MB
Uchimandai	7.8 MB

Peranmai

2009-10-22T07:14:00.000-07:00

Banner : Ayngaran International

Cast : Jayam Ravi, Thanshika, Liyasree,Roven Kissinger & Sisco

Direction : S.P. Jananathan

Production : K.Karunamoorthy & C.Arunpandiyan

Music : Vidyasagar

Lyricis : Vairamuthu & Obe Aries

Download Tamil Mp3 Songs: Peraanmai 2009

(Right click--> Save target as)



Kaadu Kalai Katta			6.3 MB
Kaattu Pulli			8.1 MB
Thuppaki Penn			7.9 MB
When The Boys			6.8 MB
Yera Thala			7.6 MB

An Electronic invitation

2009-10-20T05:40:00.000-07:00

Only for tronix studnts...

Very funnny...

You are electronically invited on the marriageoccasion of My only 'sistor'

Miss TRANSISTORBC107, (working as amplifier in "CE"configuration) With Mr. DIODE 2N2222, (working as a rectifier inElectronic Circuits)

The only Son of Mr & Mrs. Aluminiumand Phosphorous

MUHURTAM March 30, 2K6 @ 10-45 AmplitudeModulation

VENUE At Peizo Electric Palace, Near WeinBridge, Nyquist criterion Circuit-2,

Electricity -508085.

Yours inductively Mr&Mrs. EDC PDC, Near P-N Junction,IC Road, Zener breakdown.
With BEST COMPLIMENTSFROM,

Inductor,Resistor,Capacitor,Transformer Near/Self &Dear/Mutual

Note: Musical Note(night) By Motors andGenerators

If you have been in IT industry

2009-10-20T05:32:00.000-07:00

If you have been in IT industry too long these are your symptoms:

1.) U use phrases like "No issues" and "Value addition" in everyday parlance. For e.g. When talking about your doodhwalla, U say, "His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues"

2.) Ur prime source of entertainment is the forwards send to U by friends whose faces U cant remember.

3) U drink more tea or coffee than water.

4) U keep trying to shut down ur home computer by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del (used to lock office comps)

5) When ur mobile rings at home, U rush outside to receive thecall.

6) When U make calls at home, U accidentally dial "0"to get an outside line.

7) U haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.

8) Ur last crush was a girl in HR, ur current crush is the new girl in HR and all ur crushes in the future will be girls in HR.

9) U spend the entire day reading forwards, smoking cigarettes, drinking tea/coffee and playing T.T. and then complain about the late working hours.

10.) Ur important 'meetings' usually comprise two or three people max, including yourself.

11) U secretly prepare for CAT only to find ur PL sitting behind you at the exam.

12.) U keep pressing Ctrl+Enter wondering why your gmail is not going.

13.) U email ur mate who works at the desk next to U.

14.)U r too busy to notice there was no line no. 12

2009-10-20T05:23:00.000-07:00

Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?Student: BROTHERLY LOVE

Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August?Student: A holiday

Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '

Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'

Teacher: How old is ur father.Sunny: As old as I am.Teacher: How is it possible?

Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?Student: 32 yrs.Teacher: How do you know?Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

When a lizard can why we can't?

2009-10-20T05:13:00.000-07:00

This is a true story that happened in Japan.
In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan breaks open the wall.

Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls.
When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail,it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.

What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall
partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind-boggling.
Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years without moving a single step--since its foot was nailed!

So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing,and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came, appears another lizard, with food in its mouth. Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...

Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner.

Will u be able to do this to your partner? Think about it.

Will you be able to do this to your Mom, who gave birth to you after a big struggle of nine long months? Think about it.

Or at least to your Dad, Friends, brothers and Sisters?

Imagine what a small creature can do, that a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't.

2009-10-15T07:21:00.001-07:00

Jagan Mohini Songs Download - Jagan Mohini Download Mp3 Songs - Jagan Mohini Tamil Movie Songs Free Download

Jagan Mohini

Cast: Namitha, Raja, Vadivelu, Nila, Jyothi Lakshmi

Direction: N.K. Vishwanathan

Production: H Murali

Music: “Isai Gnani” Ilaiyaraaja

MP3 Bitrate: 320 kbps VBR

Right click the link and give save target/link as (Right click->Save Target as)

Kattikita Rasavathan.mp3

Nilavu Varum Neram.mp3

Ponmanitheril.mp3

Puthathu Poovu.mp3

Unnai Vittaal.mp3

Student and teacher

2009-10-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

Teacher: What happened in 1869?

Student: Gandhiji was born.

Teacher: What happened in 1873?

Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

Question:What is the fullform of maths.

Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing
students

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.

Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.

Teacher :Why?

Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

Teacher: "What is your name?".

Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."

Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."

Student:"My name is Sunlight."

A Real Business

2009-10-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

This is really brilliant! Check it out.
Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son

Laloo : I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son : "I want to choose my own bride".

Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."

Son : "Well, in that case......Yes"

Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani

Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"

Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President :"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."

This is how business is done!!!

Einstein And Newton

2009-10-15T07:07:00.000-07:00

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven...... ......

They decide to play hide-n-seek. ........

Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..

He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start searching... ..
Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...

Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.... .......

Einstein's counting
1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ...
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .
Einstein says "newton's out..newton' s....out. ...."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton ...
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1 meter squared.....
That makes me Newton per meter squared..... .

since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal,
Therefore Pascal is OUT......... ..!

What farmers understand from geeky words?

2009-10-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

LOG ON: Making the wood stove hotter

LOG OFF: Don`t add wood

MONITOR : Keep an eye on the wood stove

MEGAHERTZ: When a big log drops on your barefoot in the morning FLOPPY DISK : What you get from piling too much wood

RAM: The hydraulic thing that makes the wood splitter work

DRIVE: Getting home during most of the winter

PROMPT: What you wish the mail was during the snow season

ENTER: Come on in

WINDOWS: What you shut when it gets cold

SCREEN: What is a must during black fly season

CHIP: What you munch during the beer sessions

MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone

LAPTOP: Where the grandkids sit

KEYBOARD: Where you suppose to put the keys so that Misses can find them

SOFTWARE: The plastic picnic utensils, ya?

MOUSE: What leaves them little turds in the cupboard

PORT: Where do commercial fishing boats dock

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When you can't remember how much you spent so much money on your Guys Only night out, last night

Wedding in sql

2009-10-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

Wedding Query....... . (SQL Server Stored Procedure Style)

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage

@BrideGroom Char(notBad) ,

@BrideChar(Good)

AS
BEGIN

SELECTBride FROMindia_Brides
WHERE
FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND
CarCount > 2 AND
HouseStatus ='TwoStoreyed' AND
BrideEduStatus='PGorAbove' AND
HavingBrothers='NO' AND
HavingSisters ='No' AND
AllowRelocate ='YES'

SELECTGold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance FROMFatherInLaw

UPDATEMyBankAccout SETMyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
UPDATE MyLockerSET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold

INSERT INTOMyCarShedVALUES('BMW')

END
GO

.

.

.

Then the wife writes the below query:

DROP HUSBAND

Commit;

Write your code in C

2009-10-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

WRITE IN C (sung to The Beatles "Let it Be")

When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,

Speaking words of wisdom:

"Write in C."

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers"
"Write in C."

Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, write in C.
LISP is dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
for science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, write in C,
Write In C, yeah, write in C.
Only wimps use BASIC.
Write in C.

Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, oh, write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

{
Guitar Solo
}

Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
Don't even mention COBOL.
Write in C.

And when the screen is fuzzy,
And the edior is bugging me.
I'm sick of ones and zeroes.
Write in C.

A thousand people people swear that T.P.
Seven is the one for me.
I hate the word PROCEDURE,
Write in C.

Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
PL1 is 80's,
Write in C.

Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
The government loves ADA,
Write in C.

Proud to be a Tamilian

2009-10-15T06:14:00.000-07:00

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says 'Entha Ooru'

The other candidate answers 'Thoothukudi pakkam'

Microsoft buys church

2009-10-15T06:10:00.000-07:00

MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion.

With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates.

"We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people."

Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service, "we will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time" and revive the popular pre-Counter-Reformation practice of selling indulgences, said Gates. "You can get Communion, confess your sins, receive absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all without leaving your home."

A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will include a macro language which you can program to download heavenly graces automatically while you are away from your computer.

An estimated 17,000 people attended the announcement in St Peter's Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello -- in character as Father Guido Sarducci -- hosted the event, which was broadcast by satellite to 700 sites worldwide.

Pope John Paul II said little during the announcement. When Novello chided Gates, "Now I guess you get to wear one of these pointy hats," the crowd roared, but the pontiff's smile seemed strained.

The deal grants MICROSOFT exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and the Vatican's prized art collection, which includes works by such masters as Michelangelo and Da Vinci. But critics say MICROSOFT will face stiff challenges if it attempts to limit competitors' access to these key intellectual properties.

"The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy scriptures," said Rabbi David Gottschalk of Philadelphia. "You take the parting of the Red Sea -- we had that thousands of years before the Catholics came on the scene."

But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish faiths both draw on a common Abrahamic heritage. "The Catholic Church has just been more successful in marketing it to a larger audience," notes Notre Dame theologian Father Kenneth Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the Catholic Church's market share has increased dramatically, while Judaism, which was the first to offer many of the concepts now touted by Christianity, lags behind.

Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive competitor, leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and entering into exclusive licensing arrangements in various kingdoms whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether or not they planned to use it. Today Christianity is available from several denominations, but the Catholic version is still the most widely used. The Church's mission is to reach "the four corners of the earth," echoing MICROSOFT's vision of "a computer on every desktop and in every home".

Gates described MICROSOFT's long-term strategy to develop a scalable religious architecture that will support all religions through emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of interfaces according to the religion desired -- "One religion, a couple of different implementations," said Gates.

The MICROSOFT move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions, according to Herb Peters, a spokesman for the U.S. Southern Baptist Conference, as other churches scramble to strengthen their position in the increasingly competitive religious market.

co-worker is a computer hacker

2009-10-15T06:06:00.000-07:00

The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker

10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.

9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.

8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.

7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.

5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net"

4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.

3. Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons

2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."

1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk."

Computer used too long

2009-10-15T06:01:00.000-07:00

You know you have been on the computer too long when...

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.

When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.

When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"

When you look for your homework using: "grep homework /dev/backpack"

When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.

When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.

When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.

When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.

When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.

...You're writing a homework assignment, and get the end of the line in the middle of a sentence, tack on a '\', and continue writing on the next line.

Bill Gates can choose his punishment

2009-10-15T05:56:00.000-07:00

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go."

Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"

Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell first." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell.

When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was a beautiful and clean place, a bit warm, with sandy beaches and tall mountains, clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women frolicking about. A smile came across Bill's face as he took in a deep breath of the clean air. "This is great," he thought, "if this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven."

Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bill was off to Heaven. Heaven was a place high above the clouds, where angels were drifting about playing their harps and singing in a beautiful chorus. It was a very nice place, Bill thought, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill looked up, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled for God and Bill Gates was sent to Hell for eternity.

Time passed, and God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was progressing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill Gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons.

"So, how is everything going?" God asked.

Bill responded with a crackling voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! It's nothing like the Hell I visited the first time!! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to the other place....with the beaches and the mountains and the beautiful women?

"That was the demo," replied God.

Free tamil mp3 songs download

2009-10-13T03:54:00.000-07:00

You can download songs from here

Aadhavan Songs Download -Aadhavan Download Mp3 Songs - AadhavanTamil Movie Songs Free Download

Actors : Surya, Nayanthara

Director : K.S. Ravikumar

Music Director : Harris Jayaraj

Producer : Kool Productions

Aadhavan (2009)

Download songs:
[Right Click - > Save Link As - > Start Download]
Maasi Maasi

Hasile Fisile

Yeno Yeno Panithuli

Vaarayo Vaarayo

Dekho Dekho

Dammaku Dammaku